Great River Bluffs State Park... Grizzly Bradams got in one more camping excursion before the white stuff litters the ground. It is early fall so the leaves were only at 10-25% according to the Leaf Report - but the landscape views and hiking were still beautiful with just the hint of fall colors.

The best thing about Fall camping is there are no bugs. Which is good because Grizzly Bradams made a greenhorn mistake... I brought my son with and forgot the tent poles for his tent. So Grizzly Bradams' tent was handed down to his son sooner than expected. Grizzly Bradams' son was grateful and wouldn't let his old man sleep exposed to the elements! Sticks and fishing line were all that were needed and later that night Grizzly Bradams snored away in his 100% organic tent his cub made!

Since we were by the Great River Grizzly Bradams took the canoe down to the nearest Mississippi boat launch. It was a clear day with some fair winds, the water was rough but that wasn't going to stop Grizzly Bradams! There was already a boat tied to the dock but the owners were not around. Grizzly Bradams got his canoe setup and was setting up his fishing lines when four gomers looking drunker than some cheese-heads stumbled down to the dock. They made a comment "wow you going out in that canoe? Hope you don't die" that was trailed by some drunk snickering.

Obviously these greenhorns didn't know who Grizzly Bradams is...

Grizzly Bradams returned their ignorance with a deep hearty chuckle and reassured the greenhorns that they need not to worry and went back to getting his rods ready.

Grizzly Bradams doesn't take his preparation lightly. He spends many hours using GPS units, maps, online resources to scout an excursion area. If possible Grizzly Bradams will get advice and tips from local park rangers and townspeople. And when it comes to river boating, you really should make sure you know what the buoys and signs mean - otherwise you could find yourself in real danger. The part of the Mississippi Grizzly Bradams was on had two large dams - one was within viewing range down river.

The hillbillies stumbled into their boat without a thought of putting life jackets on and untied their boat before starting their gas powered outboard engine...

Grizzly Bradams heard some sputtering of a gas engine and looked up as he finished his last rod rigging. The current was strong and Grizzly Bradams noticed the gomers faces were turning paler with each failed sputtering attempt at starting the motor.

Grizzly Bradams shouted out, "Do ya'll need some paddles?"

The gomers didn't respond, the engine kept sputtering, and the boat was getting swept up in the current dragging it towards the massive dam in the distance...

Luckily Grizzly Bradams canoe was all setup with the trolling motor and batteries - Grizzly Bradams moved with purpose to the canoe as he was inspired by the worried faces of the dam bound hillbillies.

The hillbilly boat had a head start, but Grizzly Bradams canoe moves fast... but not fast enough. Grizzly Bradams tried to toss a rope to the hillbilly boat, but they were not able to grab it from the water.

Luckily not only does Grizzly Bradams wear a life vest all the time, his bear-dog Nacho does as well! Thinking fast Grizzly Bradams tied the end of the rope to bear-dog Nacho and tossed her in - she seemed to sense the urgency and excitedly let Grizzly Bradams toss her in and she paddle like greased lighting! One of the hillbillies reached an arm to grab the bear dog Nacho and all she needed was a little traction and she climbed up all over that hillbilly and into the hillbilly boat. They secured the rope and Grizzly Bradams towed them to the launch.

They got their hillbilly boat outboard motor started and hooted and hollered and went on their way.

Grizzly Bradams waved and bear dog Nacho barked a good bye, "Try not to die out there!"

I was going to write about my late summer trip to Albert Lea Lake and my camping at Myre-Big Island State Park but then...

.....................................................THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you haven't heard of this story here it is about this crazy mo-fo(<---click link for story)... The short of the story is this Texas guy worked in a meat rendering plant and killed 71 of his co-workers in 17 years. That alone wouldn't bear me mentioning him EXCEPT for the fact he got rid of the corpses by mixing them in the other animal meat at the rendering plant.

So what does that mean? It brings an entire new meaning when you say you are hungry for Mexican ... It also means unfortunately most of us (if you are not a vegan) have eaten products that contain human remains. The FDA releases data all the time letting us know how much rat poop and bugs we eat on average that gets into our food. And you know any guberment agency is going to be well paid by lobbyist groups so the data we the public get I'm sure is not the full numbers. Don't be freaked out too much about the bugs, a lot of artificial and "natural" food products added to processed food is made from bugs and other strange things like beaver anal glands.

Grizzly Bradams isn't going to bombard you with facts and numbers - Grizzly Bradams doesn't care if his chances of eating human are one in a billion, he doesn't need it. Even if I never accidently eat human I've seen first hand what these meat rendering plants are like. The bigger plants are cleaner and monitored better but you get some of these backwoods hillbilly places like the one mentioned in Texas and bugs and rat poop getting into the meat isn't a question of if but how much?

This guy is the poster boy for living off the grid while living on it. This guy has motivated me more than ever to hit my goal of farming, fishing, hunting, 80% of my food in five years.

The obvious answer is to simply stop eating meat. For Grizzly Bradams that isn't going to happen again. I did that and even though some people can adjust and get protein from other sources it doesn't work for Grizzly Bradams. Plus Grizzly Bradams likes to eat meat -- Grizzly Bradams never salivated over the smell of a Tempeh burger on the grill.

The most comfortable crap ever...

First I'd like to apologize for an extended update. I just came back from my last big canoe/camping outing for the year. I wasn't able to bring pictures back to due to some "technical" problems which I will get into more detail...

Grizzly Bradams grew up in the north woods. As a little buck, Grizzly Bradams spent so much time in the woods that his momma used to put a dog "anti-tick" collar on him because she was tired of picking tics off him from his outdoor adventures. As a kid I spent a lot of time camping at private back-woods campgrounds. But I always wanted to do more rustic camping.

As an adult I have been to a lot of state parks, which are usually great experiences. Just recently though I finally made a trip to BWCA. If you haven't done so yet - you should, it is beautiful up there!

Grizzly Bradams doesn't do anything "half-ass", he did his research before heading into BWCA, and you should as well! Here are some great links that will assist you in your planning for your outing.

• DNR reservations webpage - great for MN state parks camping
• DNR Lake Finder - use the lake finder to do your fishing research of lakes
• BWCA websites - United States National Forest page
• BWCA websites - a great site for planning 

I had my itinerary planned, and my car packed, and my canoe loaded on top, it was time to hit the road!

Grand Marais before the Gunflint Trail

Grizzly Bradams

Drunk Buddy

Driving to BWCA is easy, after a six hour drive my drunk buddy and I were unloading our stuff into the canoe. We found our campsite and decided to do some fishing. It was some hard fishing, I started off using my "River Monsters" setup which is a spoon of your choice with a dead minnow on the end. This technique always gets me big fish - but the fish of "Lil Sag" just were not interested. We knew there are fish there, obviously, we saw some jumping and sunning themselves close to the surface. Every one of the fish we saw were very big fish, but we were having a hell of a time landing any. We had worms and chub minnows for live bait and every kind of fake bait and lures as well, we tried them all with no luck until my drunk buddy tried something that was genius... He stuck a live worm on a fake leach lure, and the bastard landed three small mouth bass, two were a little over 13 inches so we kept them to eat. I switched to something similar and finally had something on the line, as soon as I hollered "Fish on!" the bastard spit the hook at me... at least we had some fish to eat now, even if I didn't catch anything. 

We didn't get a chance to try a lot of different spots, there were 30 mph wind gusts all day and we (drunk buddy more so) had trouble paddling through the white caps. At one point we almost got smashed into some rocks, Grizzly Bradams had to paddle for his life! I felt like the "Gulf Stream" painting except I'm not black and the sharks were pike and muskies!

The funny thing about the BWCA is that it is very far north for Minnesota and it seems desolate but the reality is it is Canada's more civilized area of their country. I'm sure the canucks laugh at us dumb Minnesotans while they drink their Molosons. So, there is actually a lot of boat traffic going on, this takes away from the "desolate wilderness" feeling of the BWCA. And some of the canucks are assholes and disregard the rules of max 25 horsepower motors and they don't always stay on the proper motorboat lake routes designated for them. The 30 mph wind guests were bad enough then add some asshole canucks creating huge wakes with their motorboats. I'd say 1 out of 5 slowed down when passing canoes, the rest were just assholes.

So, drunk buddy and myself noticed the boat traffic died down to nothing in the evening and we thought maybe the fish were not biting so much because of being spooked by the almost constant boat traffic. We decided to try some night fishing thinking our luck would be better without the boats racing by. (Grizzly Bradams actually thought that fishing on a desolate lake in the middle of nowhere at night is a great idea!)

We prepared or fishing rods and rigs and packed our beverages into our cooler. Water is definitely needed for dehydration prevention which was a real threat since it is summer and we were paddling. Here is a really great inexpensive product that will help lighten your pack load, If you haven't seen one of these water filters you should check it out, its called the The Sawyer Mini and the best thing about this product is that you can put it right on a regular disposable water bottle and just squeeze the water through. You can drink fresh water as fast as you can squeeze the bottle and gulp it down.

One thing that is also important for night fishing is to be aware of the Minnesota boating regulations for night time. You need the proper lights, and that can be a problem for canoes that don't have deep cycle batteries in them. Here is a great solution that I have setup on my canoe -- Battery Powered Boat Lights -- I've used this brand multiple times and it works great.

One of the more annoying rules for BWCA is the no metal and glass container rules... how is it that plastic which can take up to 500+ years to decompose (and the gas motorboats spewing exhaust into the water) is allowable but a can of beer is not?!?!?! So we had to come up with something else to drink besides beer and cider. We took some plastic bottles and mixed one of our favorite summertime drinks that is great served at lake water temperature (since ice melted within the first day lake water was our next coolant). Here is the recipe for "BWCA Ice Tea":

• 1-2 shots of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey
• 1 tablespoon of natural honey
• a squirt of lemon juice
• the rest of bottle filled with your choice of ice tea

This is a great drink that doesn't have to be ice cold to taste great. And you can get away with 2+ shots because it is a sweet drink and it mixes well together. Now keep that in mind so you don't drink as much as my drunk buddy or a bear... I'm getting to that part soon.

We spent most of Friday paddling and setting up our camp and we spent Friday night drinking, smoking, and telling scary bear stories in an attempt to scare the hell out of each other which failed to scare either of us due to the drinking and smoking. Saturday night was going to be a full moon or it was also called a Sturgeon Moon by locals which would be helpful for night fishing and canoe navigation.

The sun was starting to set and my drunk buddy was getting impatient, but I reminded him that we agreed to wait to head out until we heard the last motorboat go by. As the sun started to sink on the horizon we heard the last boat go by, we loaded up the canoe and headed out. The day had been partly cloudy and very windy but overall it was a beautiful day. As the sun set the wind calmed and the Sturgeon Moon started to break over the horizon. I took some great pictures with my new camera but like I mentioned previously I had some "technical" problems later... I really love night fishing, not only do you get to experience the unique beauty of the lake and nature at night alone, the fishing can be awesome for Walleye and Crappies. BWCA at night is not only incredibly beautiful but it also can get scary really fast. But, fortunately for Grizzly Bradams the Sturgeon Moon was up in full glory and illuminating the lake to almost daytime levels of light.

Our theory of the motorboats spooking the fish didn't pan out, we didn't get a bite despite throwing our entire fishing arsenal at the lake and hearing large fish jump all around us. It was very frustrating but it happens sometimes.

And then the clouds rolled in. This is a good lesson for anyone, the weather up north can change fast, and it did. Dark clouds rolled in from asshole Canada and the light from the Sturgeon Moon was being quickly blotted out from the clouds.

Then my drunk buddy had another moment of genius, "Hey we might want to think about heading back soon."

I looked around for land markers and the shoreline just looked like dark shadows on the shore of blackness. The winds picked up and we started to feel sporadic rain drops fall from the spooky clouds.

We decided that we were not going to be able to navigate back to our campsite. We had some of our gear with us, but it would be a challenge to make a comfortable camp for the night with what we had. But that was a secondary concern, we were frantically looking along the dark shadows on the shoreline for a decent landing spot that might offer a camping spot for the night.

We had our boat lights and head lamps and with my drunk buddy on the bow he soon located a decent spot. We paddle over and investigated into the woods and we found a great spot that was surrounded by a hill with pines trees circling an open spot. We hurriedly lugged our gear out of the canoe up the hill from the shore and we went back to get the rest. My current canoe is a 14 foot Radisson Canoe which only weights barely 50 lbs. when empty. We were going to empty it and bring up the shore and turn it upside down and use it to construct a shelter. With our gear unloaded and up the hill at our make-shift camping spot we then flipped the canoe and started up the hill with it on our shoulders. To say it was difficult to carry a canoe in the darkness up an unfamiliar terrain on a freshly broken path was an understatement.

Between our bickering back and forth on who wasn't carrying the canoe correctly we heard something up the hill at our camping spot. We both shut the fuck up really fast as the noise got louder. We put the canoe down on the embankment and proceeded up the hill with paddles in hand and head lamps on bright. It seems like all the scary bear stories we told the previous night came to fruition... we froze in fear as our head lamp light illuminated the largest brown bear I have ever seen. He didn't even seem to pay us any heed, he had his nose pressed deeply in our coolers, he seemed to also like "BWCA Ice Tea" as well. The fat fucker was just eating them plastic bottles and all. He glanced annoyingly at us and let out a deep growl. We dropped our paddle weapons and ran back down to the water. We stopped by our canoe and started to try to carry it back down when we heard the bear crashing through the brush and growling from the darkness. We decided to head to the water, we had our life vests on still and we figured we could out swim the fat bear, besides there was no way to run into the pitch black woods and no where to run to.

We jumped over boulders and logs and a black snake (my drunk buddy told me it was a Water Moccasin later) before landing in the lake, I felt like I was playing a real life version of the Atari game Pitfall. The bear stayed away from the water and went back to pillaging our gear.

I don't know if any of my words can describe our situation... We were in deep water that was black as oblivion floating in darkness with angry storm clouds rolling in. We stared intently at the black shadows on the shoreline looking for any signs of a drunk brown bear coming in the water after us. It got worse before it got better. The rain came down harder and soon lightening lit up the black clouds and thunder shook the ground. We could feel the vibrations from the thunder in the water. Scary was definitely an understatement. So, there we floated. We were not in danger of drowning thanks to our life-vests and we also were lucky it was summer so hypothermia wasn't going to be an issue.

We didn't talk - we just floated waiting for daylight. Eventually the storm receded to just a few lighting flashes high in the clouds and the rain became a sprinkle. We both relaxed more but still didn't talk, there was no need, we both knew we were screwed for a while. I was getting a little freaked out though because the minnows in the lake were nibbling on my toes and exposed legs since I only had shorts and sandals on. I kept thinking about the water snake we saw before jumping into the water. I knew better that the nibbling I felt wasn't a snake, I was familiar with the feeling of minnows nibbling on my toes while being submerged in lake water. But the feeling of not seeing or knowing whats in the water below you while floating is disconcerting to say the least.

Then it happened. I had to take a crap. We were already floating in the lake for hours, and we weren't sure of the time and how many more hours we would be waiting and floating in the lake.

I've peed in the water while swimming before, it wasn't a big deal. But I've never dropped a deuce in the water... it was getting to the point where I couldn't hold it much longer. The prarie dog was peeking out of its hole.

I pulled my shorts and underwear down under the water and started to float away from my drunk buddy. He got worried that I was leaving him, I told him he probably should give me some space.

I couldn't do it at first, I've spent my entire life crapping into toilets or outhouses. Sure, I've done it in the woods a couple times, also. But doing it while floating in water in this situation was new territory.

I tried to get my mind to relax, I do meditate, but, trying to empty my mind so I could empty my bowels while floating in dark waters in a storm was going to be a challenge. But, in all things, no matter how bleak it may look, you can find some beauty in everything. Even though I was wet, cold, and scared, the lake night backdrop was actually very beautiful. The clouds were now breaking up and the stars and Sturgeon Moon was shining again.

And then I was able to let go.

They say squatting is the "correct" way to take a crap. I've done it before and do not find it comfortable or better than the American toilet. I do understand toilets are not good for people, either, I've had my legs fall asleep while sitting and I know that it can contribute to thrombosis.

I'm not sure how I can explain the feeling of crapping while floating in water. It wasn't a bad experience at all. Matter of fact it was the best crap I've ever taken. I can only guess it is like crapping in space with zero gravity. There was no straining or sitting on an uncomfortable hard toilet seat. It was very freeing. It was almost magical.

I then felt some nibbling... this time it wasn't on my toes and legs. Since I was in water it was like I was floating in a giant bidet, so, there wasn't a real need for toilet paper. But I guess the little minnows thought I needed some extra cleaning back there. I squirmed at first, but, I decided to relax and just let it happen. The minnows got there fill eventually and I pulled my shorts up just in time for the sun to crack the horizon.

We decided to investigate our gear that the bear pillaged. We approached cautiously and we discovered the bear was gone, along with our gear... and my camera. My camera was water proof but not bear proof. We salvaged what we could, cleaned up the rest, got our paddles and canoe and paddled back to our campsite.

I wish there was a way to duplicate this experience. It is by far the best way to take a crap. And I bet it is even better for you than squatting. Then the minnows for toilet paper is just pure genius. I keep trying to think of a way this could be recreated into some kind of bathroom appliance that everyone can use.

Don't steal my ideas, I'm going to patent the BWCA Bidet tomorrow!

I'm an environmentally concerned redneck. I grew up like most Minnesota boys doing all the outdoor activities. I also grew up around slaughter farms and witnessed some things that were nightmarish on my uncle's slaughter farm. These experiences are the basis for this blog.

One day I watched my step-uncle call the farm animals over to the fence by their names. The pigs and beef cattle would respond expecting to be fed. And as they approached my step-uncle casually raised a revolver and shot them in the head. This seemed very brutal, but it is part of the process of slaughtering animals. This seems terrible and as a twelve year old witnessing this it had an effect on me.

Even though my step-uncle's farm seemed horrible it was paradise compared to how most of the animal slaughtering business is done. Eventually I found out about the bigger corporate backed slaughter farms and how they were ran. I saw the small chicken cages, I saw how pigs were held in torturous holding cells, I saw how cattle were housed in small stalls and forced fed non stop. And the smell was worse than death. The pig farms are the worst, I still don't know how the farmers can live in a house within smelling distance of the pigs.  The factory farmed animals short lives were a living hell that ended in a painful death. And during the entire process they are injected with drugs and hormones.

For a time in my younger life I became a vegetarian because of my beliefs against factory farming. I was not a true vegetarian. I preferred eating meat, smelling cooking meat made my mouth water, and health wise it wasn't working for me. No matter how much I ate on a vegetarian diet I was losing weight. I was very skinny and wasn't holding muscle mass despite working out and being active and eating as much as I wanted. I know it is possible to be healthy living a vegetarian life style - it just wasn't working for me. And I also didn't necessarily believe that animals shouldn't be eaten for food. I was/am against factory farming. 

I eventually gave up my vegetarian diet and ate meat again. I always wanted to buy free range animal meat but it is very expensive. I would buy factory farmed meat products due to economic reasons. It still would bother me though knowing first hand how the animals were treated.

I am a father of two children and they were getting older and I was watching them grow up in today's overly convenient world. I wanted to get them off the computers and smart phones and get them outside more. So we started with fishing together. The great thing about fishing is you can do it cheap. But shore fishing can be challenging and even though you can find some great shore fishing spots in Minnesota your more limited than using a boat and we got skunked (caught no fish) more often than not.

Another reason I wanted to get back into fishing is for the food aspect. Once the initial gear is purchased it can be an inexpensive activity. Not only is the fishing part fun and a great reason to get outdoors you can also catch yourself a free-range organic meal for free! I know the arguments animal-rights advocates state about hunting and fishing are bad -- but I'm not a "sports" hunter/fisher person. I don't enjoy killing animals. I do enjoy eating them though. And I'd rather do my own dirty work and slaughter the animals myself that I am going to eat instead of paying a butcher to do my proxy killing. And me fishing guarantees there were no unwanted sea animals killed unintentionally by net fishing and I know first hand where the fish were from and how they were processed.

I started home garden farming also. The first year I had a great harvest. If I did it right I think I could farm most of my own vegetables consumption. I also was reading about urban farmers in Detroit and other cities around the world and how they can be successful.

It then dawned on me that if I started hunting again (bows only) and with fishing with my kids (child labor) and urban farming I could make a difference in my annual food budget and it would all be free-range and organic!

So a few years ago I decided to make a challenge to myself. The challenge would be to try to live off the grid as much as possible while being an urban dweller. I haven't quantified all my data fully each year yet but I'm going to put it all into to a database and budget so I can keep an accurate measurement of my efforts and track the real change of ridding myself of the chains of consumerism.

Ultimately I want to use this blog to record, track, and document my experiences and I want to share knowledge and ideas with others. It would be great to be able to hunt, fish, farm, 100% of my own food but I think a realistic number would be around 80%. Currently I would estimate my supplemental production is around 10%.  Even though that is a small percentage the experiences of fishing trips and being outdoors with my kids are an immeasurable number!