Grizzly Bradams grew up in the north woods. As a little buck, Grizzly Bradams spent so much time in the woods that his momma used to put a dog "anti-tick" collar on him because she was tired of picking tics off him from his outdoor adventures. As a kid I spent a lot of time camping at private back-woods campgrounds. But I always wanted to do more rustic camping.
As an adult I have been to a lot of state parks, which are usually great experiences. Just recently though I finally made a trip to BWCA. If you haven't done so yet - you should, it is beautiful up there!
Grizzly Bradams doesn't do anything "half-ass", he did his research before heading into BWCA, and you should as well! Here are some great links that will assist you in your planning for your outing.
- DNR reservations webpage - great for MN state parks camping
- DNR Lake Finder - use the lake finder to do your fishing research of lakes
- BWCA websites - United States National Forest page
- BWCA websites - a great site for planning
I had my itinerary planned, and my car packed, and my canoe loaded on top, it was time to hit the road!
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| Grand Marais before the Gunflint Trail |
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| Grizzly Bradams |
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| Drunk Buddy |
Driving to BWCA is easy, after a six hour drive my drunk buddy and I were unloading our stuff into the canoe. We found our campsite and decided to do some fishing. It was some hard fishing, I started off using my "River Monsters" setup which is a spoon of your choice with a dead minnow on the end. This technique always gets me big fish - but the fish of "Lil Sag" just were not interested. We knew there are fish there, obviously, we saw some jumping and sunning themselves close to the surface. Every one of the fish we saw were very big fish, but we were having a hell of a time landing any. We had worms and chub minnows for live bait and every kind of fake bait and lures as well, we tried them all with no luck until my drunk buddy tried something that was genius... He stuck a live worm on a fake leach lure, and the bastard landed three small mouth bass, two were a little over 13 inches so we kept them to eat. I switched to something similar and finally had something on the line, as soon as I hollered "Fish on!" the bastard spit the hook at me... at least we had some fish to eat now, even if I didn't catch anything.
We didn't get a chance to try a lot of different spots, there were 30 mph wind gusts all day and we (drunk buddy more so) had trouble paddling through the white caps. At one point we almost got smashed into some rocks, Grizzly Bradams had to paddle for his life! I felt like the "Gulf Stream" painting except I'm not black and the sharks were pike and muskies!
The funny thing about the BWCA is that it is very far north for Minnesota and it seems desolate but the reality is it is Canada's more civilized area of their country. I'm sure the canucks laugh at us dumb Minnesotans while they drink their Molosons. So, there is actually a lot of boat traffic going on, this takes away from the "desolate wilderness" feeling of the BWCA. And some of the canucks are assholes and disregard the rules of max 25 horsepower motors and they don't always stay on the proper motorboat lake routes designated for them. The 30 mph wind guests were bad enough then add some asshole canucks creating huge wakes with their motorboats. I'd say 1 out of 5 slowed down when passing canoes, the rest were just assholes.
So, drunk buddy and myself noticed the boat traffic died down to nothing in the evening and we thought maybe the fish were not biting so much because of being spooked by the almost constant boat traffic. We decided to try some night fishing thinking our luck would be better without the boats racing by. (Grizzly Bradams actually thought that fishing on a desolate lake in the middle of nowhere at night is a great idea!)
We prepared or fishing rods and rigs and packed our beverages into our cooler. Water is definitely needed for dehydration prevention which was a real threat since it is summer and we were paddling. Here is a really great inexpensive product that will help lighten your pack load, If you haven't seen one of these water filters you should check it out, its called the The Sawyer Mini and the best thing about this product is that you can put it right on a regular disposable water bottle and just squeeze the water through. You can drink fresh water as fast as you can squeeze the bottle and gulp it down.
One thing that is also important for night fishing is to be aware of the Minnesota boating regulations for night time. You need the proper lights, and that can be a problem for canoes that don't have deep cycle batteries in them. Here is a great solution that I have setup on my canoe -- Battery Powered Boat Lights -- I've used this brand multiple times and it works great.
One of the more annoying rules for BWCA is the no metal and glass container rules... how is it that plastic which can take up to 500+ years to decompose (and the gas motorboats spewing exhaust into the water) is allowable but a can of beer is not?!?!?! So we had to come up with something else to drink besides beer and cider. We took some plastic bottles and mixed one of our favorite summertime drinks that is great served at lake water temperature (since ice melted within the first day lake water was our next coolant). Here is the recipe for "BWCA Ice Tea":
This is a great drink that doesn't have to be ice cold to taste great. And you can get away with 2+ shots because it is a sweet drink and it mixes well together. Now keep that in mind so you don't drink as much as my drunk buddy or a bear... I'm getting to that part soon.
We spent most of Friday paddling and setting up our camp and we spent Friday night drinking, smoking, and telling scary bear stories in an attempt to scare the hell out of each other which failed to scare either of us due to the drinking and smoking. Saturday night was going to be a full moon or it was also called a Sturgeon Moon by locals which would be helpful for night fishing and canoe navigation.
The sun was starting to set and my drunk buddy was getting impatient, but I reminded him that we agreed to wait to head out until we heard the last motorboat go by. As the sun started to sink on the horizon we heard the last boat go by, we loaded up the canoe and headed out. The day had been partly cloudy and very windy but overall it was a beautiful day. As the sun set the wind calmed and the Sturgeon Moon started to break over the horizon. I took some great pictures with my new camera but like I mentioned previously I had some "technical" problems later... I really love night fishing, not only do you get to experience the unique beauty of the lake and nature at night alone, the fishing can be awesome for Walleye and Crappies. BWCA at night is not only incredibly beautiful but it also can get scary really fast. But, fortunately for Grizzly Bradams the Sturgeon Moon was up in full glory and illuminating the lake to almost daytime levels of light.
Our theory of the motorboats spooking the fish didn't pan out, we didn't get a bite despite throwing our entire fishing arsenal at the lake and hearing large fish jump all around us. It was very frustrating but it happens sometimes.
And then the clouds rolled in. This is a good lesson for anyone, the weather up north can change fast, and it did. Dark clouds rolled in from asshole Canada and the light from the Sturgeon Moon was being quickly blotted out from the clouds.
Then my drunk buddy had another moment of genius, "Hey we might want to think about heading back soon."
I looked around for land markers and the shoreline just looked like dark shadows on the shore of blackness. The winds picked up and we started to feel sporadic rain drops fall from the spooky clouds.
We decided that we were not going to be able to navigate back to our campsite. We had some of our gear with us, but it would be a challenge to make a comfortable camp for the night with what we had. But that was a secondary concern, we were frantically looking along the dark shadows on the shoreline for a decent landing spot that might offer a camping spot for the night.
We had our boat lights and head lamps and with my drunk buddy on the bow he soon located a decent spot. We paddle over and investigated into the woods and we found a great spot that was surrounded by a hill with pines trees circling an open spot. We hurriedly lugged our gear out of the canoe up the hill from the shore and we went back to get the rest. My current canoe is a 14 foot Radisson Canoe which only weights barely 50 lbs. when empty. We were going to empty it and bring up the shore and turn it upside down and use it to construct a shelter. With our gear unloaded and up the hill at our make-shift camping spot we then flipped the canoe and started up the hill with it on our shoulders. To say it was difficult to carry a canoe in the darkness up an unfamiliar terrain on a freshly broken path was an understatement.
Between our bickering back and forth on who wasn't carrying the canoe correctly we heard something up the hill at our camping spot. We both shut the fuck up really fast as the noise got louder. We put the canoe down on the embankment and proceeded up the hill with paddles in hand and head lamps on bright. It seems like all the scary bear stories we told the previous night came to fruition... we froze in fear as our head lamp light illuminated the largest brown bear I have ever seen. He didn't even seem to pay us any heed, he had his nose pressed deeply in our coolers, he seemed to also like "BWCA Ice Tea" as well. The fat fucker was just eating them plastic bottles and all. He glanced annoyingly at us and let out a deep growl. We dropped our paddle weapons and ran back down to the water. We stopped by our canoe and started to try to carry it back down when we heard the bear crashing through the brush and growling from the darkness. We decided to head to the water, we had our life vests on still and we figured we could out swim the fat bear, besides there was no way to run into the pitch black woods and no where to run to.
We jumped over boulders and logs and a black snake (my drunk buddy told me it was a Water Moccasin later) before landing in the lake, I felt like I was playing a real life version of the Atari game Pitfall. The bear stayed away from the water and went back to pillaging our gear.
I don't know if any of my words can describe our situation... We were in deep water that was black as oblivion floating in darkness with angry storm clouds rolling in. We stared intently at the black shadows on the shoreline looking for any signs of a drunk brown bear coming in the water after us. It got worse before it got better. The rain came down harder and soon lightening lit up the black clouds and thunder shook the ground. We could feel the vibrations from the thunder in the water. Scary was definitely an understatement. So, there we floated. We were not in danger of drowning thanks to our life-vests and we also were lucky it was summer so hypothermia wasn't going to be an issue.
We didn't talk - we just floated waiting for daylight. Eventually the storm receded to just a few lighting flashes high in the clouds and the rain became a sprinkle. We both relaxed more but still didn't talk, there was no need, we both knew we were screwed for a while. I was getting a little freaked out though because the minnows in the lake were nibbling on my toes and exposed legs since I only had shorts and sandals on. I kept thinking about the water snake we saw before jumping into the water. I knew better that the nibbling I felt wasn't a snake, I was familiar with the feeling of minnows nibbling on my toes while being submerged in lake water. But the feeling of not seeing or knowing whats in the water below you while floating is disconcerting to say the least.
Then it happened. I had to take a crap. We were already floating in the lake for hours, and we weren't sure of the time and how many more hours we would be waiting and floating in the lake.
I've peed in the water while swimming before, it wasn't a big deal. But I've never dropped a deuce in the water... it was getting to the point where I couldn't hold it much longer. The prarie dog was peeking out of its hole.
I pulled my shorts and underwear down under the water and started to float away from my drunk buddy. He got worried that I was leaving him, I told him he probably should give me some space.
I couldn't do it at first, I've spent my entire life crapping into toilets or outhouses. Sure, I've done it in the woods a couple times, also. But doing it while floating in water in this situation was new territory.
I tried to get my mind to relax, I do meditate, but, trying to empty my mind so I could empty my bowels while floating in dark waters in a storm was going to be a challenge. But, in all things, no matter how bleak it may look, you can find some beauty in everything. Even though I was wet, cold, and scared, the lake night backdrop was actually very beautiful. The clouds were now breaking up and the stars and Sturgeon Moon was shining again.
And then I was able to let go.
They say squatting is the "correct" way to take a crap. I've done it before and do not find it comfortable or better than the American toilet. I do understand toilets are not good for people, either, I've had my legs fall asleep while sitting and I know that it can contribute to thrombosis.
I'm not sure how I can explain the feeling of crapping while floating in water. It wasn't a bad experience at all. Matter of fact it was the best crap I've ever taken. I can only guess it is like crapping in space with zero gravity. There was no straining or sitting on an uncomfortable hard toilet seat. It was very freeing. It was almost magical.
I then felt some nibbling... this time it wasn't on my toes and legs. Since I was in water it was like I was floating in a giant bidet, so, there wasn't a real need for toilet paper. But I guess the little minnows thought I needed some extra cleaning back there. I squirmed at first, but, I decided to relax and just let it happen. The minnows got there fill eventually and I pulled my shorts up just in time for the sun to crack the horizon.
We decided to investigate our gear that the bear pillaged. We approached cautiously and we discovered the bear was gone, along with our gear... and my camera. My camera was water proof but not bear proof. We salvaged what we could, cleaned up the rest, got our paddles and canoe and paddled back to our campsite.
I wish there was a way to duplicate this experience. It is by far the best way to take a crap. And I bet it is even better for you than squatting. Then the minnows for toilet paper is just pure genius. I keep trying to think of a way this could be recreated into some kind of bathroom appliance that everyone can use.
Don't steal my ideas, I'm going to patent the BWCA Bidet tomorrow!
So, drunk buddy and myself noticed the boat traffic died down to nothing in the evening and we thought maybe the fish were not biting so much because of being spooked by the almost constant boat traffic. We decided to try some night fishing thinking our luck would be better without the boats racing by. (Grizzly Bradams actually thought that fishing on a desolate lake in the middle of nowhere at night is a great idea!)
We prepared or fishing rods and rigs and packed our beverages into our cooler. Water is definitely needed for dehydration prevention which was a real threat since it is summer and we were paddling. Here is a really great inexpensive product that will help lighten your pack load, If you haven't seen one of these water filters you should check it out, its called the The Sawyer Mini and the best thing about this product is that you can put it right on a regular disposable water bottle and just squeeze the water through. You can drink fresh water as fast as you can squeeze the bottle and gulp it down.
One thing that is also important for night fishing is to be aware of the Minnesota boating regulations for night time. You need the proper lights, and that can be a problem for canoes that don't have deep cycle batteries in them. Here is a great solution that I have setup on my canoe -- Battery Powered Boat Lights -- I've used this brand multiple times and it works great.
One of the more annoying rules for BWCA is the no metal and glass container rules... how is it that plastic which can take up to 500+ years to decompose (and the gas motorboats spewing exhaust into the water) is allowable but a can of beer is not?!?!?! So we had to come up with something else to drink besides beer and cider. We took some plastic bottles and mixed one of our favorite summertime drinks that is great served at lake water temperature (since ice melted within the first day lake water was our next coolant). Here is the recipe for "BWCA Ice Tea":
- 1-2 shots of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey
- 1 tablespoon of natural honey
- a squirt of lemon juice
- the rest of bottle filled with your choice of ice tea
This is a great drink that doesn't have to be ice cold to taste great. And you can get away with 2+ shots because it is a sweet drink and it mixes well together. Now keep that in mind so you don't drink as much as my drunk buddy or a bear... I'm getting to that part soon.
We spent most of Friday paddling and setting up our camp and we spent Friday night drinking, smoking, and telling scary bear stories in an attempt to scare the hell out of each other which failed to scare either of us due to the drinking and smoking. Saturday night was going to be a full moon or it was also called a Sturgeon Moon by locals which would be helpful for night fishing and canoe navigation.
The sun was starting to set and my drunk buddy was getting impatient, but I reminded him that we agreed to wait to head out until we heard the last motorboat go by. As the sun started to sink on the horizon we heard the last boat go by, we loaded up the canoe and headed out. The day had been partly cloudy and very windy but overall it was a beautiful day. As the sun set the wind calmed and the Sturgeon Moon started to break over the horizon. I took some great pictures with my new camera but like I mentioned previously I had some "technical" problems later... I really love night fishing, not only do you get to experience the unique beauty of the lake and nature at night alone, the fishing can be awesome for Walleye and Crappies. BWCA at night is not only incredibly beautiful but it also can get scary really fast. But, fortunately for Grizzly Bradams the Sturgeon Moon was up in full glory and illuminating the lake to almost daytime levels of light.
Our theory of the motorboats spooking the fish didn't pan out, we didn't get a bite despite throwing our entire fishing arsenal at the lake and hearing large fish jump all around us. It was very frustrating but it happens sometimes.
And then the clouds rolled in. This is a good lesson for anyone, the weather up north can change fast, and it did. Dark clouds rolled in from asshole Canada and the light from the Sturgeon Moon was being quickly blotted out from the clouds.
Then my drunk buddy had another moment of genius, "Hey we might want to think about heading back soon."
I looked around for land markers and the shoreline just looked like dark shadows on the shore of blackness. The winds picked up and we started to feel sporadic rain drops fall from the spooky clouds.
We decided that we were not going to be able to navigate back to our campsite. We had some of our gear with us, but it would be a challenge to make a comfortable camp for the night with what we had. But that was a secondary concern, we were frantically looking along the dark shadows on the shoreline for a decent landing spot that might offer a camping spot for the night.
We had our boat lights and head lamps and with my drunk buddy on the bow he soon located a decent spot. We paddle over and investigated into the woods and we found a great spot that was surrounded by a hill with pines trees circling an open spot. We hurriedly lugged our gear out of the canoe up the hill from the shore and we went back to get the rest. My current canoe is a 14 foot Radisson Canoe which only weights barely 50 lbs. when empty. We were going to empty it and bring up the shore and turn it upside down and use it to construct a shelter. With our gear unloaded and up the hill at our make-shift camping spot we then flipped the canoe and started up the hill with it on our shoulders. To say it was difficult to carry a canoe in the darkness up an unfamiliar terrain on a freshly broken path was an understatement.
Between our bickering back and forth on who wasn't carrying the canoe correctly we heard something up the hill at our camping spot. We both shut the fuck up really fast as the noise got louder. We put the canoe down on the embankment and proceeded up the hill with paddles in hand and head lamps on bright. It seems like all the scary bear stories we told the previous night came to fruition... we froze in fear as our head lamp light illuminated the largest brown bear I have ever seen. He didn't even seem to pay us any heed, he had his nose pressed deeply in our coolers, he seemed to also like "BWCA Ice Tea" as well. The fat fucker was just eating them plastic bottles and all. He glanced annoyingly at us and let out a deep growl. We dropped our paddle weapons and ran back down to the water. We stopped by our canoe and started to try to carry it back down when we heard the bear crashing through the brush and growling from the darkness. We decided to head to the water, we had our life vests on still and we figured we could out swim the fat bear, besides there was no way to run into the pitch black woods and no where to run to.
We jumped over boulders and logs and a black snake (my drunk buddy told me it was a Water Moccasin later) before landing in the lake, I felt like I was playing a real life version of the Atari game Pitfall. The bear stayed away from the water and went back to pillaging our gear.
I don't know if any of my words can describe our situation... We were in deep water that was black as oblivion floating in darkness with angry storm clouds rolling in. We stared intently at the black shadows on the shoreline looking for any signs of a drunk brown bear coming in the water after us. It got worse before it got better. The rain came down harder and soon lightening lit up the black clouds and thunder shook the ground. We could feel the vibrations from the thunder in the water. Scary was definitely an understatement. So, there we floated. We were not in danger of drowning thanks to our life-vests and we also were lucky it was summer so hypothermia wasn't going to be an issue.
We didn't talk - we just floated waiting for daylight. Eventually the storm receded to just a few lighting flashes high in the clouds and the rain became a sprinkle. We both relaxed more but still didn't talk, there was no need, we both knew we were screwed for a while. I was getting a little freaked out though because the minnows in the lake were nibbling on my toes and exposed legs since I only had shorts and sandals on. I kept thinking about the water snake we saw before jumping into the water. I knew better that the nibbling I felt wasn't a snake, I was familiar with the feeling of minnows nibbling on my toes while being submerged in lake water. But the feeling of not seeing or knowing whats in the water below you while floating is disconcerting to say the least.
Then it happened. I had to take a crap. We were already floating in the lake for hours, and we weren't sure of the time and how many more hours we would be waiting and floating in the lake.
I've peed in the water while swimming before, it wasn't a big deal. But I've never dropped a deuce in the water... it was getting to the point where I couldn't hold it much longer. The prarie dog was peeking out of its hole.
I pulled my shorts and underwear down under the water and started to float away from my drunk buddy. He got worried that I was leaving him, I told him he probably should give me some space.
I couldn't do it at first, I've spent my entire life crapping into toilets or outhouses. Sure, I've done it in the woods a couple times, also. But doing it while floating in water in this situation was new territory.
I tried to get my mind to relax, I do meditate, but, trying to empty my mind so I could empty my bowels while floating in dark waters in a storm was going to be a challenge. But, in all things, no matter how bleak it may look, you can find some beauty in everything. Even though I was wet, cold, and scared, the lake night backdrop was actually very beautiful. The clouds were now breaking up and the stars and Sturgeon Moon was shining again.
And then I was able to let go.
They say squatting is the "correct" way to take a crap. I've done it before and do not find it comfortable or better than the American toilet. I do understand toilets are not good for people, either, I've had my legs fall asleep while sitting and I know that it can contribute to thrombosis.
I'm not sure how I can explain the feeling of crapping while floating in water. It wasn't a bad experience at all. Matter of fact it was the best crap I've ever taken. I can only guess it is like crapping in space with zero gravity. There was no straining or sitting on an uncomfortable hard toilet seat. It was very freeing. It was almost magical.
I then felt some nibbling... this time it wasn't on my toes and legs. Since I was in water it was like I was floating in a giant bidet, so, there wasn't a real need for toilet paper. But I guess the little minnows thought I needed some extra cleaning back there. I squirmed at first, but, I decided to relax and just let it happen. The minnows got there fill eventually and I pulled my shorts up just in time for the sun to crack the horizon.
We decided to investigate our gear that the bear pillaged. We approached cautiously and we discovered the bear was gone, along with our gear... and my camera. My camera was water proof but not bear proof. We salvaged what we could, cleaned up the rest, got our paddles and canoe and paddled back to our campsite.
I wish there was a way to duplicate this experience. It is by far the best way to take a crap. And I bet it is even better for you than squatting. Then the minnows for toilet paper is just pure genius. I keep trying to think of a way this could be recreated into some kind of bathroom appliance that everyone can use.
Don't steal my ideas, I'm going to patent the BWCA Bidet tomorrow!


